Wedding planning is mostly filled with exciting shopping trips, fun samplings, and celebratory toasts, but you’re not alone if you’re also facing your fair share of wedding frustrations. Family drama and budgeting woes can distract from this otherwise joyous time. But you don’t have to let those wedding frustrations get the best of you! As a professional wedding planner, I’m here to help you with all of the issues you might face along the way. You’ll feel confident about your DIY wedding planning journey knowing that others have dealt with the same things before you. Keep reading for a helpful guide to handling wedding challenges and navigating tricky social scenarios.
When someone assumes they’re invited…but they’re not
People love to party. That’s the simple truth of the matter and once word gets out that you’re engaged, even the most random acquaintances will start dropping hints about an invite. One potential solution to this common wedding frustration is to let people know ahead of time that it’s going to be an intimate celebration or that the guest list will be determined by your budget. This way, their expectations won’t be too high. If the venue is too small to accommodate everyone you’d like to invite, you could always have a relaxed open house style engagement reception where people can still express their congratulations. I’ve got a more extensive guide to cutting your wedding guest list on my blog if that’s an area you need additional guidance in.
You were in their wedding party, they’re not going to be in yours
I was a bridesmaid seven times, so I have some personal experience with this one. If I invited all my friends to be in my wedding, it would have take twenty minutes just for the wedding party to enter. In the end, I kept it simple and had no wedding party during the ceremony. But we still had an amazing bachelorette party! You could also choose just to have a maid of honor and best man to eliminate the stress of organizing a whole crew of people. I wouldn’t stress too much about not including someone in your wedding party. A true friend will just be excited that you found the love of your life.
Wedding Frustration: Family traditions vs personal preferences
You may think a wedding is just about you and your partner, but it’s also about your families joining together. With that comes a whole slew of outside opinions on the wedding planning. If it’s something small that you feel indifferent about, but matters a lot to a family member, consider including this in the event. For things that you feel strongly about, express to your family that you and your partner made the choice together. Who knows, you can always be the start of new family traditions! Family wedding frustrations can be complicated, but remember to approach everything from a place of love.
How to tell your vendor you’re not using them
At the beginning of your wedding planning journey you will be in contact with many different vendors to sort out pricing and availability. Eventually, the list will narrow down and you’ll have to let down some of them. Though you might be tempted to save time and avoid awkward conversations, please don’t ghost them! All you have to do is tell the vendors that you decided to go in a different direction with your plans. They’ll be grateful that you let them know, instead of leaving them hanging. This way they can fill their calendars with new clients and not waste time following up with you.
The alcohol question
Wedding guests love an open bar, but sometimes the budget won’t allow it. Some families also might have a bad history with alcohol and want to limit the supply. If you do want to have an open bar but are trying to keep the budget lower, consider just offering beer and wine. Then you’re not spending the additional money on hard liquor and mixers. Another option would be to set a monetary cap with the wedding venue and then only serve soft drinks after that. A boost of caffeine from a coffee bar will also keep the party going!
Dealing with Common Wedding Frustrations: Your vendor cancelled last minute
This slightly less common wedding frustration has the potential to derail your entire event, but it doesn’t have to! Firstly, I would recommend working into your contract that a cancellation before X number of days will result in a deposit refund/cancellation fee if the services were never provided. You can also include a statement requiring the vendor to find a suitable replacement; they’ll know the industry better than you. From the beginning of your wedding planning journey, keep a detailed spreadsheet of contacts. This way you can easily look up last minute replacements if necessary. Organization is super important when it comes to many wedding frustrations!
Family emergency
No matter how detailed your wedding game plan is, sometimes life just gets in the way. How do you deal with a family emergency on the day of (or week of) your wedding? To prepare for anything, make sure you have a detailed list of local emergency contacts, transportation, and someone to take over if you have to be gone for a while. If it’s something beyond your control and everyone is safe, then focus on executing your wedding plan. You can’t be everywhere at once!
Your venue has a curfew! How to get your guests to leave
First off, you can include an end time on the wedding invitations to establish some boundaries up front. Your DJ will also know what time the event ends, so you can have them announce a 30 minute warning and cut the music before the actual curfew time. This is a pretty clear indicator to guests that the party is over. You can also reserve transportation to an after party venue for those who are still feeling festive.
Need more help with your wedding frustrations?
There will always be challenges when planning an event as big as a wedding, but the party is always worth it! Remember to approach this time with an open mind and flexible attitude. Visit my blog for more DIY wedding planning advice.
